An In-Depth Guide to Losing Your Shit

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Thursday, April 26

"can you try to be a little nicer to me?"

I'll try to be NICER if you try to be SMARTER!

Okay, I didn't say that, which is probably good and shows a decent amount of self-control on my part, don't you think? 

I am going crazy.  The happy, exciting move has turned into a huge mess.  The kids came home last night for the first time since the move.  Things were a disaster!  I couldn't find Bug's floss for his braces, there were no coats and its friggin cold today, the pop tarts are at the other house... we forgot Bean's blankie and medicine at my mom's.  It was a huge mess and then Mr. W’s like "are you going to put this stuff away?"  ERRRRRNT!  (that's breaks screeching)  How DARE you ask if I'm going to put away the kids' new clothes right now when we don't even have the things we NEED, I think the OLD NAVY bag will be okay where it is for now!  The jitters and excitement I was feeling have been squashed by the disastrous way he has just thrown things into the trailer with no rhyme, reason or agenda.  Who knows me????  Who can speak to the fact that I NEED a friggin AGENDA????? 

Tuesday night I had to go to the mall to get the kids some clothes.  I have no money, I was using my mom's card to access my savings account.  When I get home he tells me that he can't remember what he did with the dog, and he thinks he left him in the backyard and someone brought him into the house and put him in his crate!   You can't remember where you left your dog?  Did you put him away or didn't you, because I really don't like the idea of someone walking into my house and putting my dog in his crate!  Then I asked if he'd eaten and he's like, "um... did I eat?"  I'm like ARE YOU HIGH???  How do you forget if you put the dog away, forget if you ate???  Finally he's like "yes, I ate."  It REALLY bothers me that he just eats whenever and doesn't think about whether I've been able to eat or not.  Anyway, then I go to the mall with mom and he texts me and asks for food.  I HAVE NO MONEY.  Then he texts again and asks for a dryer cord from Sears.  I HAVE NO MONEY.  He still owes me 75 bucks from April's utilities at the other house and I used my lunch money for his friggin Sonic trip on Saturday when he was still drunk and had to have ice cream.  So, NO, I'm not bringing home any food or a dryer cord because I HAVE NO MONEY and he KNOWS I don't have any, but he just doesn't THINK.  I get home and the cat's gone.  He was like "Paco's doing really well in the back yard, I left the door open so he can come and go as he pleases."  WHAT?  What about the friggin cat?  "Oh I didn't think about that."  Of COURSE you didn't because it didn't have anything to do with YOU.  So then we're scouring the immediate area to find kitty Johnson.  We found him, which is a good thing because I'd have killed me some Mr. Wonderful.  Anyway, so all these random things coming together have driven me to the brink of INSANITY so I'm not really talking to him much to avoid fighting and screaming my head off and he says "can you try to be a little nicer to me?"

YES, I'LL BE NICER IF YOU'LL BE SMARTER!

Oh, wait, we're back to that again.

Next week I head back to college.