Read last week's installment here.
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Sunday, July 27 (continued)
And as far as me working so hard at a job that exhausts me and prevents me from spending any quality time with my kids or helping you around the house (which I realize, without a doubt, that I have done nothing to help you since we moved), I am quitting Aero. I might wait until I have an enlistment date from the recruiter, or I might just go ahead and put my two weeks in now. Donny needs help at the bar and I would make pretty much the same amount (including tips) and I would only work Monday through Friday 10-6. And then my guard pay on top of that. But no matter what, I want a job where I can be with my kids, support them in sports and school, and still make a nice home. Or help, anyway.
Speaking of finances, I am hoping that your T-chart doesn't have anything in it about money. I don't want you to stay with me because you think you can't afford not to. You could get a roommate and share expenses easily. You're not far off from what you would need to make it without me, and without my bills (and spending problems) you would be just fine.
So, in closing I would like to say that I love you, have loved you from the beginning and will always love you. I trust you, I am physically attracted to you, we have a lot in common, I love your stupid dog, you make me laugh and you know the real me. I believe that whatever happens will be for the very best. I know in my heart that you love me and that I make you sublimely happy... as long as I'm happy as well. And when I'm miserable, so are you. So I will accept the fact that my chronic unhappiness and negativity is what drove us apart. And maybe this is the motivation I needed to see how I was treating myself and my kids, too, and finally do something about it. Whatever you decide, it will be the beginning of something great and great things are going to happen. The Universe makes no mistakes, so this was placed in front of us for a reason. Either to make us stronger as a couple, or to set us on new, separate paths.
I think I've gotten enough out of my system that I can sleep now. I would really love to send this to you right now, but that would be selfish of me. You're trying to concentrate on tests and I would just be distracting you. So I will wait until Tuesday night. I'll probably just let you read this so you can see it all without me getting emotional. So if I'm in the room right now, turn to me and say what's in your heart.
Tune in next week to find out if we stayed together or not.