Monday, Aug 11
Current mood: hopeful
I'm ashamed to say that I responded to a booty call last night. No further details necessary, we all know how those come about. It ended when I crept out of the bed (air mattress, I took all his furniture, ha) and got dressed at about 4:30am. He said, "You leavin?" I said, "Yeah." He said, "Thanks for holding me." I said, "You're welcome. Talk to you later." He said, "I love you." I said, "I love you too."
Came back to moms, slept a little. Got up and went to work for an hour to finish folding the graphic tees I didn't get done Saturday night. Took the kids, they played hide-and-seek around the store while we worked. (the store was closed so we weren't bothering customers) After the folding, we got cinnamon rolls and ate them in the food court. We came home, I took a pill and a nap and at three I got up to go to Karen's where my birthcontrol was sitting in her fridge. After I retrieved the package and put it into a different refridgerated container, we went to Chili's for dinner (we meaning me, the kids, Donny, Amy, and Amy's lil bro Taylor.) Bug was cold so I sent him out to the car with my keys to get his hoodie. He came back almost in tears telling me he left the keys in the car. I checked... yup, sitting in the passenger seat. I have done this a thousand times, I am not upset. He did the right thing by locking the doors when he was done. I called a locksmith and they were there and had my keys in my hand before our dinners even arrived. Best possible thing that ever could have ever happened to me. Bug will learn at a young age not to forget where the keys are when you hit the lock button. I now have the number of a locksmith that can come to my rescue at any time, and quickly. Best possible thing. We left Chili's and headed out west to go to the ICT Roller Girls "Mid-Summer Night's Beat Down" It was so FUN! I am going to friend them on myspace, so check them out. I wanna be a roller girl! I want a cool name like "Dirty Pirate Hooker." My number could be R. HAHAHA Seriously, though, it was fun, and it needs some more violence in it, I could totally take out my aggression in that kind of environment. I know you'd all enjoy it!
So I'm starting my Basic Training workout in the morning. Run for 30 minutes, then some stationary exercises, like crunches, pushups, etc. Gonna take some exercise enhancement pill, too, helps your body burn fat. Anyway, I really want to stick to it, I feel pretty grossed out about the belly. I didn't necessarily LIKE it before, but now that he pointed it out, I am mortified by it and I have to do something about it. His saying that was the best possible thing because it's going to make me do this to feel better about myself. So EFF him, since I haven't heard from him all day. He convinced me last night that it was not a booty call, he just wanted to be near me. Well, it went further than that and so it WAS in fact a booty call. And that means that if I don't hear from him today, it was a worthless break-up sex booty call, which is the worst kind because you always have one of the partners putting so much importance on the break-up sex. That person would have been me. And if I don't hear from him then it was worthless. Which I haven't. So it was. BUT, ladies and gentlemen, I HAVE NOT TEXTED HIM TODAY. I have not initiated contact with him in the last two days, actually. Last night he started it. He got what he wanted and in a way so did I... I just wanted to be close to him, the sex was a bonus. But I am not going to contact him first over this. He told me before I came over that it might not change things but it would give us time to be close to each other. And he said there was never a time in this thing when there was no chance of us working it out. So he said the right things to get me there, we'll see what he comes up with when he sobers up. He said he wasn't drunk, but he reeked of booze and slept the sleep of the passed out. With the groaning and grunting. Trust me, with the number of nights I have slept with that man after he was boozin, I can tell the difference between "fell asleep" and "passed out."
Anyway, so I'm hitting the sack now, getting up early to run, I'm pretty stoked about that. Just gotta stick with it. That's the hard part. Need to get a 30 minute playlist together for my iPod and some ear buds that will stay where I put them. Equip well: Train well
Okay I'm sounding loopy, so the meds have kicked in... whee!!! Time for sleep!
Photo by Markus Winkler from Pexels